We're separated and disagree about counselling. What happens now?

While life is challenging, providing therapeutic support for yourself and your children gives your whole family a steady place to work through change. Your child's willingness to take part, at a time when so much is shifting, shows real resilience.

Disagreeing about counselling is common after separation, and it doesn't have to become a dispute. When co-parents work together, your child gets the strongest possible support. Most disagreements can be worked through by focusing on what your child needs.

At a glance

Why does working together matter for my child?

Children feel safer when the adults who care for them are on the same page.

• Less pressure: Your child doesn't have to worry about upsetting one parent by going to counselling.
• More confidence: Hearing both parents support counselling helps your child settle in and open up.
• Steadier progress: What your child learns in counselling is easier to practise when both homes back it.

How can we make this decision together?

• Start with your child: Talk about what you've each noticed and what you hope counselling could help with.
• Listen to each other's concerns: A worry about timing, the counsellor or how sessions work is easier to solve once it's said out loud.
• Ask questions together: Either parent is welcome to contact us. Hearing the same information can help you reach a shared view.
• Look for common ground: You don't need to agree on everything. Agreeing that your child deserves support is a strong place to start.

How can we talk about it as co-parents?

• Keep it child-focused: Bring each conversation back to your child's needs, not past disagreements.
• Choose the right moment: A planned conversation, or a calm message, often works better than a quick talk at handover.
• Stay respectful: Even when you disagree, a respectful tone keeps the door open.
• Never use your child as the messenger: Talk to each other directly.

How can we show our child a united front?

• Agree on what to say: A shared, simple explanation of counselling helps your child feel secure.
• Both show support: Let your child know each parent is glad they're getting help.
• Protect their space: Neither parent asks what was said in session, or whether the other parent came up.
• Reassure them: Your child isn't responsible for adult decisions, and both parents love them.

How does Discovery Family Therapy support co-parents?

• We stay neutral: We don't take sides, and we don't write reports for family law proceedings.
• One named contact: Appointment details go to the parent named at intake.
• The other parent: We only make contact with the other parent if your child agrees.
• Careful decisions: When parents disagree about consent, we can seek legal advice to make sure we're acting correctly.
• Support for your family: Our Divorce and Separation service and Parent Support service can help you work through this together or separately.

What if we still can't agree?

Sometimes co-parents need extra help to reach a decision, and that's okay.

• Children aged 12 and under: One parent's objection doesn't cancel the other parent's consent, unless a court order says otherwise.
• Teenagers aged 13 to 17: Counselling is based on your teen's own agreement.
• Court orders: If you have parenting orders, they guide how decisions are made. Please send us a copy.
• Next steps: A family lawyer can explain your options. Either parent can apply to the Family Court of Western Australia, which decides in the child's best interests and listens to the child's views.

This page is general information only and isn't legal advice. For advice about your situation, speak with a family lawyer.